Remember the spoof trailer Machete from Grindhouse/Planet Terror? Well they've only gone and done it. Machete, due out any second now, picks up where the spoof trailer left off. And get this, directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, the film stars Danny Trejo, Steven Seagal, Cheech Marin, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Robert De Niro, Rose McGowan and, wait for it, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba. Hectic. Apparently, the film even includes a new fake trailer by Quentin Tarantino featuring Tim Roth as Agent Orange.